Pieces of Moonlight
by Serenade
Summary: Touya faces disturbing premonitions of loss. Set during the Sakura Card story arc.


PIECES OF MOONLIGHT   
  
a Card Captor Sakura fanfic  
  
by Serenade  
  
  
Warning: spoilers ahead for Card Captor Sakura Volume 9   
(ie the Sakura Card series).   
  
*****   
  
Last night, you were in my dreams again.   
  
I was running through the woods beneath a moonlit sky. I   
was searching for something, but the trees all looked the   
same and I was lost in their maze. At the same time, a   
sense of urgency accelerated through my heart. Branches   
tore at my uniform as I pushed past them heedless.   
  
Then I saw you, lying against the bole of a great cherry   
tree. Drifts of pale blossom had fluttered down to rest   
lightly on your limbs. For a moment, I was afraid you   
were dead, but you opened your eyes and smiled your   
charming smile at me.   
  
You said, "I knew you would come for me, Touya."   
  
I knelt beside you and clasped your slim hand in my own.   
Then a cold wind shook the forest and you vanished in   
silence.   
  
That was when I woke up - when I always wake up.   
  
I know my dreams are warning me, but I still don't know   
what to do. What's the use of all my powers, my vaunted   
second sight, if I can't protect a single person who's   
important to me?   
  
You see, I already know your secret. You're not an   
ordinary human being, are you - very likely not even   
human at all. I've never quite managed to figure you out.   
But then, I haven't tried very hard, never questioned too   
deeply, afraid you would be like the mirage that   
disappears when you stare too closely at it.   
  
I don't want you to disappear from my life, Yuki.   
  
*****   
  
I always used to be a solitary child - "strange Kinomoto   
who sees things". Then later, when I learned that silence   
hides difference, "aloof Kinomoto who keeps to himself".   
  
But with you, it was never like that. You never treated   
me any different, never looked at me oddly, before I told   
you or after. "It doesn't mean you're abnormal," was all   
you said. "I think it makes you special." And your smile   
was sudden and disarming, as if you knew something about   
me I hadn't even guessed myself.   
  
*****   
  
Today when I found you fallen by the path, it was as   
though my nightmare had congealed into reality. You lay   
tumbled like a puppet whose strings had been cut, your   
skin as pale as wax. You only stirred when I touched your   
shoulder, blinking up at me with bewildered eyes.   
  
"I must have fallen asleep again," you said. "I was on my   
way to your house..." Your face tightened with   
concentration. "I don't remember, Touya," you said, an   
uncharacteristic tremor in your voice. "I don't remember   
any of it!"   
  
I could see my own fear and desperation reflected in your   
eyes. I laid my hands on your shoulders, felt you shaking   
like a wind-savaged tree. It must be terrifying, to be   
losing pieces of yourself like this. It's terrifying to   
me, who is only a witness.   
  
"It's all right, Yuki," I said, my throat dry as sand,   
but you had fallen into unconsciousness again.   
  
I had to carry you home, cradled against my chest like a   
child, your bony elbows digging into my ribs. You were   
lighter than I expected, as though the substance had   
been sucked out of you. I could feel your heartbeat   
fluttering slowly, like the wings of a moth.   
  
*****   
  
I've been sitting here for hours, watching you sleep, as   
the twilight shadows spread across the floor of your   
room. In sleep, you seem almost like an ordinary boy,   
nothing supernatural about you at all.   
  
I used to wonder if you were deliberately pretending,   
disguising your true nature from me as I disguise mine   
from strangers. I waited for you to tell me, wondering if   
you hesitated because you didn't trust me enough, or if   
you neglected to speak of it because you assumed I   
already knew.   
  
But now I suspect you're actually unaware of your hidden   
self. No one could pretend to be so guileless. Your soul   
is as clear as water, as open as the sky. So impossibly   
kind, it tears my heart open.   
  
And now you're dying by degrees, and you don't even   
understand why.   
  
The nape of my neck begins to prickle; the familiar   
sensation leads my awareness to sharpen in response. But   
it still takes me a few seconds to realise that your eyes   
are open and watching me. "Touya?" you whisper. "Where   
am I?"   
  
"You're home," I answer, attempting a reassuring smile.   
"You collapsed earlier, so I brought you back here."   
  
"I see. I'm sorry to be such a bother. I've just been so   
tired..." Your voice trails off; your eyes are clouded   
with misery and confusion.   
  
I reach out my hand and grasp yours. "It's OK. I'm here.   
I won't leave you alone."   
  
You lift up your free hand, trace your fingers along the   
curve of my cheek. I close my eyes, but still, I swear I   
can *feel* you smile.   
  
*****   
  
Now, lying next to you in the warm darkness, listening to   
your soft breathing, I can almost believe there will be a   
tomorrow.   
  
My mother only graced this earth for a short span of   
years. My father always says he was happy to have shared   
a portion of that time with her, however brief its   
duration, however painful their parting. Every moment was   
a precious gift, and to demand more would be petty.   
  
But maybe I'm more selfish than my father. The brief time   
we've spent together, you and I - it's not enough, it   
can't be all we have. There are still too many things I   
need to say to you, Yuki, too many things left unspoken.   
  
But I feel like I'm clutching at moonlight; it slips   
through my fingers whenever I try to catch it. Whatever   
it was that brought you here is drawing you back   
inexorably. There are powers in the world that humans   
cannot hope to understand, let alone defy. You can't   
fight a force of nature, not even with the powers I have.   
  
The powers I have...   
  
No, you can't fight the forces of nature. But perhaps you   
can bargain with them.   
  
Whatever I have to sacrifice, it doesn't matter to me.   
I'll accept it freely, as long as you can stay by my   
side.   
  
Yuki, I won't let you disappear.   
  
Because. Because. Because.   
  
  
- fin -   



End file.
